


Second Chances

by rustyliver



Series: Canaries [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/F, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 23:53:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustyliver/pseuds/rustyliver
Summary: "Full disclosure," Sara says once she has briefed her crew about their latest mission, "I hear my sister's voice.""The dead one?""I don't have any other siblings," Sara says. "We're not the Queens."





	Second Chances

**Author's Note:**

> See part one for explanation on my inadequate knowledge of Arrowverse.

"What'd you do that for?"

Sara looks around her room and finds that she is alone. "Great," she sighs. Mallus is still messing with her.

"She seems like a nice girl," and Mallus is using Laurel now. God, why can't he just leave her alone? Obviously, she can't expect a demon to have a better comprehension of the word 'no' than a man, but still. She was super clear about her non-existent desire to join his merry gang of time criminals.

"I mean, I didn't think a hot librarian could be your type in a million years but maybe it's a good thing. At least you know that this one won't kidnap mom."

"Sure, Laurel," Sara finally gives in. She is in her room alone so what if she's talking to her dead sister? She talks to Laurel all the time. Just not, you know, out loud. "Like you didn't have an emotional affair with that particular ex of mine."

"I didn't--" Laurel's inanimate voice squeals. "Wait, you can hear me?"

"Yes, Mallus. I can hear you," Sara says. "You're not going to change my mind."

"Who's Mallus?" Laurel's voice says. "And seriously, Nyssa and I never--"

Sara chuckles wearily. She pinches the space between her eyebrows. "You don't rest, do you? I knew it was weird that you didn't use Laurel's face before. Not when I can be so easily seduced by my past."

"Eww, Sara, why would I seduce you?"

"You were just keeping her as your last resort but you know what?" Sara continues, ignoring Laurel's voice. "It's still no. There's nothing you can do to make me join you."

"I hope not," Laurel says. "I didn't resurrect you just so you can die again."

"Seriously, stop," Sara demands even though she knows it's futile.

"Hey," Laurel's voice is gentle and it sounds so like her but Sara has to stay strong.

"Please, stop," Sara repeats, this time pleading.

"I'm sorry," Laurel says. "This is all new to me. Of course you're going to freak out when there's a disembodied voice talking to you. Sometimes, I watch you--not in a creepy way--just to know how you're doing, but this is the first time that you hear me. Maybe this is a one-time thing. So you don't have to worry about having the ghost of your dead sister haunting you."

"That's not--" Sara lets out a wry laugh--she is honest to god feeling guilty about hurting Mallus's feelings. She sighs, "if I can bring you back, Laurel, I would."

"Didn't really work out so well for you so I don't know if that's a good idea," Laurel replies.

Sara shakes her head. "It's the only reason I held the damned Death Totem," she mutters.

"You did what?" Laurel exclaims.

"You're committed," Sara says. "Did you like take a class from Daniel Day-Lewis or something?"

"You're not getting out of this conversation, Sara," Laurel replies sternly. "It has the word 'DEATH' in its name! What made you think that it's a good idea to even touch it?"

"I just want you back, Laurel!" Sara yells. It's a good thing that the walls in the ship are thick. "You know how--" she exhales sharply. "You know how it feels," she continues more quietly, "to lose a sister."

"Now I feel like an asshole for dying," Laurel says. "But it's not like I had any control over it."

 

...

 

Sara still doesn't believe her. Laurel thought that after her sister actually addressed her by her name, Sara would stop calling her Mallus. But nope, Sara still insists that Laurel--if not this Mallus--must be some trick by him.

Laurel doesn't know what is going on either. Maybe this Mallus is using her to manipulate Sara, but she's not sure if she cares. She is too happy for the chance to talk to her sister again. Who knows how long this will last?

"Full disclosure," Sara says once she has briefed her crew about their latest mission, "I hear my sister's voice."

"The dead one?"

Laurel is pretty sure that The Hair said that but she was too surprised by Sara's announcement that she missed whomever asked the dumb question. It could be the grumpy one with the red necklace but Laurel thinks she heard a man's voice.

"I don't have any other siblings," Sara says. "We're not the Queens."

Ray snorts--he's the only one of Sara's crews that she recognizes. There is a beefy guy who Laurel swears she has seen somewhere but she doesn't feel like she has met him in person. It feels more like she saw him on a flyer or something.

"Are you trying to freak us out?" The Hair asks. "Because consider me freaked."

"Well, since Ray had a secret plan to kill me in case Mallus takes over my soul, I think it's better to practice transparency," Sara says. "This way, there'd be no surprises if suddenly Laurel wants me to do something bad like maybe, kill all of you. I could tell you guys what she wants from me without having to explain all the ghostly details and we can figure out how to not let it happen."

"I would never do that!" Laurel gasps.

Sara doesn't respond but instead continues addressing her crew. "Like right now, Laurel can't believe that I just said what I said."

"She's here?" Ray whispers.

Sara nods. "She is and she can hear you."

"Hey, Laurel," Ray says to the air. "We've met a few times."

"I remember," Laurel replies even though he can't hear her.

"So like, you want to use your sister to spy on Mallus's plans?" the grumpy one asks.

"Basically," Sara answers.

"But wouldn't telling this plan of yours to us _out loud_ alert Mallus to the fact that you're not falling for whatever trick he's playing?" the grumpy one says. "Which, you know, makes your plan useless."

"If that's the case, then great," Sara says. "Because he'll know to stop using my sister as bait." Her eyes glance around the room. "Laurel, are you still here?"

"Sorry," Laurel answers.

"Is she--" says Ray.

"Still here," Sara sighs.

"It must be the Death Totem," the only one in Sara's crew who has been quietly listening finally speaks up. The beefy guy has been quiet too but that's only because he dozed off a while ago. The woman looks a bit out of place since everyone else doesn't look very reliable (but Laurel could be wrong). The woman looks like someone who knows what she's talking about.

"But I took it off," Sara tells the reliable woman. "Ava got rid off its influence on me."

"Just because you took it off doesn't mean that its energy doesn't still linger," replies the reliable-looking woman. "The bond between a totem and its bearer runs deep. Your brief union with the Death Totem might have summoned Laurel's spirit to you."

"Amaya, are you saying that it's not just Laurel's voice I'm hearing," Sara says, "but it's really her?"

"It's a possibility," Amaya answers.

"A possibility?" Sara scoffs. "Come on, you can't say that. I might take you seriously."

"Can I say that?" Laurel asks. "Because it's really me, Sara."

Sara shakes her head, a bitter laugh escaping her lips.

"What's happening, Captain?" Ray asks.

"I know this is freaking you out," Laurel tells Sara. "It's freaking me out too but who knows how long this will last? So I'd rather spend the time with you _properly_. We never had the chance to say goodbye when I--"

"Died," Sara supplies. She closes her eyes. Her crew looks on worriedly. "The minute you so mentioned Mallus, I'll get an exorcist here so fast, you--"

"Got it," Laurel tells her.

Sara opens her eyes. "It looks like I'll be talking to myself a lot. Just a head's up."

Only the grumpy one nods while the others seem perplexed by Sara's abrupt change of heart.

"What are you waiting for?" Sara exclaims as she turns towards the door. "Anachronisms aren't going to fix themselves!"

 

...

 

Sometimes, Sara wonders what it would be like if she was not on that damned boat. She wonders where she would be if she had put even a shred of thought into her decision to sleep with her sister's boyfriend. She wonders who she would be…and you get the point. Sometimes, she thinks about being normal.

Usually, she would come to the conclusion that she would have gotten into another kind of trouble. Maybe a better one that wouldn't have involved a bunch of people dying but still trouble nonetheless. She would probably still fall out of touch with her family for a couple of years but then her dad would get soft on her and track her down. Laurel would be mad at her for a few weeks but they would make up eventually.

Their dad would come home and complain about Green Arrow's shenanigans but he wouldn't be so obsessed because he would have a wife and two daughters to think about. And they would live a happy, normal life absent of vigilantes. Okay, maybe not exactly that because Oliver would find a way to involve Laurel somehow and Dad wouldn't just stand by while people get killed in his city, but no one would be dead.

Maybe. Or maybe not.

That Laurel from another universe, the meta-human one, seems to have gone through some bad shit but she's still alive and kicking. So, maybe not. At least, that's what Sara tells herself when her shoulders feel too heavy and she finds herself dragging her feet.

But ever since she met Ava, there is a certain lightness to her steps that she can only vaguely remember from before her first official death. It has been a while since the last time she didn't have to remind herself of reasons to live. With Ava in her life, she just knows.

At first, it was nice. She was happy and Ava is so together a person that Sara thought, for a second, that it could work. _They_ could work because there was no way someone like Ava would stick around if Sara still had that stench of death and destruction on her. For the first time in a while, Sara actually believed that her future isn't just about chasing after a redemption that is always so out of reach--that her life could be about, you know, love that she can keep. A love that could grow.

Then, as if on queue, death returned in her life. First, it was Martin. Then, with the Death Totem, she was a literal personification of Death. And now, her dead sister is haunting her.

"I guess that break up didn't do what you wanted it to do," Laurel tells her.

"Ya think?" Sara snipes.

"Excuse me?" Gary asks.

"Not you," Sara huffs.

"It's the--" Ray attempts to clarify.

"The dead sister," Gary nods. "Of course. Sorry, I forgot. Does Director Sharpe know?"

"We broke up," Sara snaps. "I don't have to tell her that I hear my dead sister's voice. She's going to think I'm nuts."

"But you guys broke up so," Laurel says, "who cares what she thinks? You can ask her, you know. She's everywhere."

Sara sighs.

"Is that for your sister or me?" Gary asks.

"Both," Sara grumbles. "You're both annoying me."

"Not me, right?" Ray asks. "'Cause I--" Sara glares at him. "Shutting up n--Sara!"

"Sara!" Laurel yells too.

"What?" Sara exclaims before she notices the quiet movements of feet behind her. She dodges the baton before it can hit her.

"Your ex is taking the break up pretty hard," Laurel says as Sara is trying to find an opening to deliver a strike that would incapacitate clone Ava.

" _It_ is not my ex," Sara retorts.

"But aren't you glad that you broke up with her?" Laurel asks. "'Cause who knows what else she's keeping from you."

There it is: an opening. Dodge left, squat, and--

"Good job, Gary," Sara exhales.

Gary beams before his eyes roll down to Ava's unconscious body. He drops whatever lab apparatus that he used to strike the back of Clone Ava's head. "Oh no, Director Sharpe," he says, kneeling next to his boss's clone. "I didn't mean it. You were just so murder-y."

"For the last time," Sara says, gritting her teeth. "That is not Ava Sharpe."

 

...

 

Sara is charming. Always has been. Whenever they got into trouble as kids, she would just flash a smile at their father and whatever punishment that Dad had thought of was immediately reduced to something less stringent. At around middle school, Sara figured out that her charm didn't only work on adults but kids her age too. By high school, her induction as a popular kid seemed inevitable.

Laurel was a junior then. She was a bit worried for Sara at first. She remembered taking a while to adapt to high school. She had to join numerous clubs in order to find friends. Eventually, though, she did find her own crowd but not before she made a fool out of herself on more than one occasion. When Laurel saw that Sara had fit in seamlessly, she was relieved. Then she got a bit jealous because it seemed so easy for Sara. It always seemed so easy for Sara.

But the grass is always greener on the other side, right?

After her freshman year in college, Laurel decided to surprise her family by returning home a day earlier than she said she would. She planned everything to a T, making sure that she would arrive before everyone got home from work/school. Then, when everyone came home, she would casually walk into the kitchen and ask, "What's for dinner?"

She figured that Sara would be the earliest one to be home so instead of waiting in the room they shared, Laurel decided to wait in the study that was barely used because they were the kind of family that liked to be around each other, even when one of them was chasing a deadline and needed to focus hard on whatever task they had to finish.

Instead of an empty room, what Laurel found was Sara on top of another girl on top of a bed that Laurel had never seen before. Sara's eyes widened and Laurel yelled, "I thought nobody's home!" before running into her old room.

It took her a minute to realize that her reaction could be construed as disapproval, which was not what that was. It's just that seeing her little sister making out with a girl was a bit of a surprise. She wanted to find Sara and explain herself but then she remembered what she saw and decided to wait another ten minutes before knocking on the study's door.

"Come in!" Sara yelled from inside the room.

Laurel opened the door slowly, afraid that she might see something she would regret.

"Don't worry," Sara said. "I'm alone." Once Laurel had entered the room, she added, "I didn't know you were coming back today."

"And I didn't know that Mom and Dad finally let you have this room," replied Laurel.

"Well, they had a hard time letting you go," Sara said. "So when I told them that I was going to put your stuff into boxes, they immediately gave me this room."

"You were going to put my stuff in boxes?" Laurel asked, feeling quite offended if she's being honest.

"Just the trophies and framed certificates and some of your books--the really thick ones with very small writing," Sara said.

"I still read those!"

"Well, you still can," Sara muttered. "They're all where you left 'em."

"Okay, cool." Laurel nodded. She didn't know how to broach the subject and Sara wasn't making it easy for her. She exhaled. She couldn't expect Sara to just walk her through this huge thing that she was probably still trying to figure out. But she had to say something. "Do you want to talk?"

"Nope," Sara replied.

"Cool," Laurel said. "Cool. I'm here for a whole month if you ever need to talk."

Sara responded with a silent nod.

"Can you not tell Mom and Dad that I'm here?" Laurel asked as she backed herself out of the room. "I want to surprise them."

Finally, Sara looked up. "If you don't tell them what happened."

"I would never, Sara…" Laurel said.

"I wanna take a nap so," Sara cut her off.

Laurel left and Sara never took her up on her offer. In fact, they never talked about how Sara likes both girls and boys until her ex-girlfriend burst into town and kidnapped their mother.

 

...

 

She doesn't want to ask and she wouldn't, but the desire is ever present and she cannot make it go away. And she didn't mean to but seeing Nyssa's name among the names at the top of Sara's recent calls, she just blurted out, "You guys talk a lot?"

"Who?" Sara asks. "Dad?"

"Yeah, Dad," Laurel says.

"Once every week," Sara says but then one her eyebrows rise. "You didn't mean Dad, didn't you?"

"No, of course I meant Dad," Laurel replies. "Because what kind of daughter would I be if I didn't check up on my own father after…dying?"

"You made me call him yesterday," Sara says. "You know, if you want to see how she's doing, you can just ask. It shouldn't take too long. Less than a week probably."

"I…" Laurel hesitates. "The last time we liked the same person, it didn't turn out too well."

"But I don't like her anymore," Sara says. "I mean, I do like her but not in any sense that is non-platonic. Not even sexual."

"Right," Laurel mutters.

"Okay yeah, if the circumstances were right and convenient, I might sleep with her," Sara admits. "But we have a long and complicated history between us and it's not something that I like to rehash because it's so messy. If you have feelings for her, I won't hold it against you."

"No, I shouldn't," Laurel says. "Not just because she had what sounded like an epic romance with you, but what would that even do--seeing her? I died. There's nothing we can do about that. It will just…hurt."

Sara shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe just to see her for one last time?"

Laurel considers it for a moment. The temptation is strong, she won't lie, but their relationship never went beyond friendship, and after Sara was resurrected, it even seemed like they were done for good. Laurel kept wanting to make it right and to apologize for leaving Nyssa in Nanda Parbat, but Nyssa wasn't an easy woman to find. She was busy dethroning Malcolm Merlyn and disbanding the League of Assassins. It wasn't like Laurel could just dial a number and get Nyssa on the phone.

It's just too late now. She's dead but Nyssa is still alive. Just because Laurel had left certain things unsaid, it doesn't mean that Nyssa should not be allowed a peace of mind.

"No," Laurel tells Sara. "I don't want that."

 

...

 

Laurel's been quiet since Dahrk turned up. No ill-timed comments on Sara's love life, i.e. Ava. No judgments on her crew. And no hesitant but just a little bit desperate questions about Nyssa. Sure, it's hard losing her sister for the second time but the longer the fantasy lasts, the harder it will be to let Laurel go. This is better, she tells herself.

"Wow, you really fucked that up."

Sara closes her eyes. "I can't do this right now," she mutters. Some part of her is happy to hear Laurel's voice again but she just got rejected. She told Ava that she loves her and Ava walked away. It still stings.

"I'd hug you if I can," Laurel says.

"I just need to be alone right now," Sara replies, wondering if she's tempting fate by shutting out her sister. What if Laurel really disappears?

"Kinda can't leave you alone," Laurel says.

"Then where were you?" Sara didn't mean to yell. "Sorry," she murmurs. Her brows crinkle. "Wait, you're just hovering and watching me all the time? What if I'm having sex?"

"You haven't since you broke up with Ava," Laurel points out.

"I am aware of that," Sara says. "But eventually, I'll want to and you can't be around when that happens."

"Calm down," Laurel tells her. "When Damien Dahrk showed up, I really didn't want to be here and I wasn't. Where is he, anyway?"

"I, uh," Sara hesitates. She still doesn't know if Laurel is okay about the fact that she used to murder people for a living. Laurel knows about it, of course, but she's not sure if it's okay to bring it up during a casual conversation. "He's dead."

"How?" Laurel asks. "It looked like you guys needed his help."

"I stabbed him in the back," Sara decides to tell the truth. "He double-crossed us at the last minute."

"Could've told you that," Laurel says.

"I know," Sara sighs, shrugging. "We were desperate. On the plus side, we saved Zambesi--Amaya's village."

"I'm still trying to work out how all this works," Laurel says, "but wouldn't that change history and release Mallus?"

"Yup," Sara mutters. "That also happened."

"I…really missed a lot."

"Uh-huh."

"So what's your next move?"

 

...

 

Five years can be long time but five years can also pass by in an instant. For Sara, the five years that she was missing were the former, but for Laurel, it seemed like barely a year had passed. She said that the grief and the anger and all the consequential terrible things that happened made her numb.

"Everything seemed to blur together and I honestly can't say what happened when without thinking really hard about it," she had told Sara once. "I think that year before Oliver returned was the year that everything seemed to go back to normal. Then Oliver came back and…"

Sara remembers the way her sister had chuckled like Oliver's return didn't cause her more tragedies than one person should endure.

(And her death, but she didn't know it then.)

Sara finally had that talk with her--the one they never had when Sara was still a teenager and Laurel seemed to have it all.

"I think I could like girls too," Laurel had said.

"You ever been with one?" Sara had asked.

"Nope," Laurel shook her head. "But I think I could. I've had crushes on girls before. But I'm not like you. It doesn't come as easily for me."

"Or maybe you're just straight," Sara told her. "A person's crush doesn't necessarily reflect their sexuality. Ever heard of the term 'girl crush'?"

"That's just another way of saying 'no homo'," Laurel replied. "And I don't think it's that. I think, as much as I want to think of myself as above heteronormativity, it is still something that affects me in ways I don't understand. For example, my inability to ask a girl out without thinking of thousands of reasons not to."

"Oh, I went through that too," Sara said. "You just gotta do it. Sometimes it gets easier and sometimes it gets more difficult, but after awhile, you learn how to spot the people who are interested and the people who aren't. You're not seeing anyone, right?"

"Why?" Laurel asked.

It took a lot of asking but eventually, Sara managed to convince her sister to go to a lesbian bar. "Let's find you a girl," she had said to Laurel.

It wasn't as productive as Sara had hoped. Laurel bought drinks for girls she thought were cute and even chatted with some of them, but none had piqued her interest enough for her to date or even just sleep with. They did a few more nights out after that but the same thing happened each time. Laurel would look like she's having a good time but when Sara called her the next morning, she would always say the same thing: "I didn't find anyone I like. Maybe I really am just straight."

Laurel was not straight.

She just had to have a deep emotional connection with a person before she even considers fucking them, which is not the case for Sara. That's how she ended up with Oliver; they were friends first before they started going out. Then there was Tommy. And after that, she never got serious with anyone. Dealing with her alcoholism, Sara's death and her budding career as a vigilante, Sara thinks it became harder for her to open up to near strangers. Until Nyssa, that is.

But she sort of knew Nyssa. They shared a tragedy after all, and that is not a bond that can be forged every day. According to Nyssa, it flourished into something more; something that she can't quite explain. Nyssa is a loyal person--sometimes too loyal for her own good. So, when she gave Sara the title of her beloved, it isn't a title she could easily withdraw and she didn't.

"It was different from what you and I were," Nyssa had told Sara. "When I was with her, I felt as though I could be something other than my destiny. That my choices did not have to align with my father's. For the first time, I looked at the world and saw infinite possibilities."

Once Sara got over the weirdness of her ex being so in love with her sister, she felt happy for them. Then sad because they never got to tell each other how much the other meant to them. The two of them deserved more than that; they deserved a lifetime together.

 

...

 

"I don't want to see her," Laurel says.

"Yeah, but I do," Sara retorts. "Mallus is almost a god. There is no way to know if I would survive him."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"Of course I do. We went through so much. But no, I don't want to bang her. That's not what this is for."

"Then, why?"

"Because it was hard enough for her to lose the League," Sara says. "Do you know that she doesn't have anyone outside of the League of Assassins? The League was her family. I can't just die without saying goodbye to her first."

"Stop being dramatic. You're not going to die."

"You don't know that," Sara tells her sister. "You can come or you can not come. It's up to you. But I am definitely going to see her."

 

...

 

Laurel is quiet again and Sara wonders if she is doing the same thing she did when Damien Dahrk showed up. Sara would soon find out that her sister is very much around when Nyssa opens the door to a safe house in Melbourne with one hand behind her back.

A sound that Sara has never heard come out from her sister's lips when she was alive--something between a sigh and a choke--echoes in her ear, causing her to flinch.

"Apologies for the knife," Nyssa says. "I wasn't sure who I would be opening the door to."

Sara shakes her head. "No, that's fine. Totally get it. So, how you've been?"

"Is that why you have graced me with your presence?" Nyssa asks. "To ask me how I am?"

"Yeah, why not?" Sara replies. "You're important to me."

"But not important enough to stick around?"

As soon as Nyssa realizes what had slipped out of her mouth, she appears apologetic but she doesn't actually verbalize the apology. She only stares at Sara and Sara lets her, staring back with a fond smile.

Finally, Nyssa shakes her head. "I am fully aware that we are not together anymore."

"Yeah, that will be hard to explain to my girl--well, it doesn't matter," Sara says. "Not anymore, but thanks for the acknowledgment."

Nyssa has an eyebrow raised. "You met someone?"

Sara clears her throat. "I…kinda screwed that up. You know, my commitment issues and all."

"You are a loyal person, Sara," Nyssa tells her. "That is why it takes you take some time to trust a person. Which isn't a bad thing. I see it as cautious."

Sara chuckles. "Thanks."

"And," Nyssa adds, "if you had trusted this woman enough to call her your girlfriend--"

"It's worse," Sara says. "I told her I love her."

"Did you?" Nyssa replies. "Then I am confident that she will come to her senses. Perhaps, she was not in her right mind when you told her that."

"Well, she just found out that she's a clone from the future," Sara mutters.

"What?"

"It's…a long story."

"Do you have time for a cup of tea?" Nyssa asks.

"I wouldn't be opposed to something stronger," Sara replies, grinning.

Nyssa steps aside, allowing Sara to enter the apartment. "Neither am I."

 

...

 

It's weird being around Nyssa and Sara--having to watch the way they act like they have lived a lifetime together. It isn't the biggest reason for Laurel's refusal to see Nyssa but it's up there.

She knows the stories from both Sara and Nyssa, and she knows how important they are to each other, that even if they have both moved on to other, well, careers and people, that special bond they have will never go away. Nyssa still calls Sara her beloved, for god's sake. If any of Laurel's exes ever called her their 'beloved', she would beg them to stop or get some kind of court order that wouldn't allow them the chance to call her that. But Sara doesn't seem too bothered by it.

It makes it hard for Laurel to even imagine Nyssa and her together. Which, you know, is impossible. So, who cares, right? But _if_ it had somehow happened, she has to wonder what kind of epithet that Nyssa would have gifted her, and what if she doesn't? Even Oliver gets the 'husband' label.

"Stop," Laurel thinks.

"Stop what?" Sara blurts out before she realizes that she's the only one who heard Laurel's thought.

Nyssa frowns.

"There's something I want to tell you," Sara says.

"No, Sara. Don't," Laurel tells her.

Sara shakes her head. "I think this needs to happen."

Nyssa's frown deepens but before Sara could continue, someone knocks on the door.

"I need to--" Nyssa stands and picks up the knife that she has set near the bowl of keys by the door. She doesn't open the door fully, only enough for her head to peer through the gap. Her shoulders relax when she sees who it is. "This is not a good time," she tells her visitor.

"We need to go," Sara tells Laurel.

"What?" Laurel asks. "Why? This was your idea."

Instead of heading for the door, Sara eyes Nyssa's window.

"Are you crazy?" Laurel exclaims. "We're on the tenth floor!"

"You don't want to be here," Sara says. "Trust me."

"So, you're just going to jump out the window?" Laurel asks.

"I've done it like twice," Sara replies. "I'm going to be fine."

Without waiting for Laurel's response, she stomps towards the window. Nyssa is occupied with whoever is at the door that she doesn't notice Sara's frantic whispers at the empty air and when Sara pushes the window up, she still doesn't notice.

Nyssa only turns when her visitor tries to push her way inside the door. "Please, Nyssa. I need you."

"Sara, what are you doing?" Nyssa asks.

"Of course it's _her_ ," the voice sounds familiar.

"I--" Sara tries to explain but nothing comes out of her mouth.

Nyssa's visitor takes the distraction as an opportunity to burst into the apartment. When Laurel sees who it is, she is no longer sure that Sara's sudden speechlessness is because her ex just caught her trying to climb out the window or it's because Laurel is seeing herself standing by Nyssa's door.

"Ghosts don't dream," Laurel mutters.

Since her return to the land of living, Laurel is fully aware of her lack of physical body. It didn't feel weird that she is just present in a room where Sara is and completely incapable of interacting with anything in it accept through her communications with Sara. She didn't have the desire to touch her sister--to hug her like people normally would when they miss someone. She was just content with hovering over her sister.

But this. Seeing herself; the same eyes, the same hair, the same nose…well, you get it. A body manifests. Not an actual body but more of a projection.

"Laurel…" Sara calls after her. Her sister can see her too.

Laurel walks towards her doppelganger who looks a bit alarmed. At first, Laurel thought it was because this person who looks so much like her can see her too. But when she asks Nyssa, "Why is she looking at me like that?"

"I…" Nyssa mumbles as confused as Laurel's doppelganger. "Sara, is something wrong?"

"Laurel," Sara mutters.

"I know," Nyssa says. "I was not expecting her. If I had known, I would have--"

Laurel's doppelganger snickers bitterly. "You would have kicked me out? Well, you did try."

"No, it's not that," Sara says.

Laurel stops just a few inches from her doppelganger. She raises her hand and touches her doppelganger's cheek. "Who are you?" she asks. Her doppelganger shivers at her touch.

"Fine, I'll leave," her doppelganger says.

When her doppelganger turns, Laurel grabs her wrist. "Wait!"

Then the world goes blank.

 

...

 

"Sara?"

"She left. Said something about saving the world from a demon."

Laurel blinks. She must be dreaming.

"You see me?" she asks Nyssa.

Nyssa frowns. "Of course I see you. Here," she hands Laurel a glass of water. "When you came here, you looked pretty shaken. Are you in danger?"

"No," Laurel shakes her head. "Not that I know of."

"You didn't drink anything strange, did you?"

Laurel snickers. "I haven't had a drink since--hold on, who am I? Who do you think I am?"

"Are you sure you didn't take anything?" Nyssa asks. "Or perhaps, had been stung by something small and sharp?"

"Nope," Laurel replies. "You need to answer my question. Who do you think I am?"

"You are Laurel Lance," Nyssa tells her.

"Am I really?" Laurel asks. "Or am I just someone who looks a lot like her?"

"I thought we were--" Nyssa swallows, "we were past this game."

Laurel sits up, putting down the glass that Nyssa had handed to her without having taken a single sip from it. "This is not a game," Laurel says. "I need you to tell me who I am because this doesn't feel real and if it isn't, then it must be a very cruel joke."

Nyssa takes her hands and the warmth feels too real to be a dream. She tilts her head sideways, finding Laurel's eyes. "Hey," she says, her voice gentle. "I can never, in a million years, imagine how it must be for you but this is real. You are real. It was your reality that shifted."

"That is…" Laurel mutters. "Very thoughtful. You've done this a few times, haven't you?"

"Not too often but I suppose I have developed a certain skill for it," Nyssa replies, a small smile on her lips.

"You are amazing," Laurel tells her.

"I'm sorry to have to ask you this again but are you sure you hadn't taken anything that might have affected your cognitive functions?"

Laurel laughs. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You're not usually generous when it comes to compliments," Nyssa replies.

"I guess I'm not entirely myself today," Laurel tells her. "But I'm okay. I swear."

"Good," Nyssa says. "I'm hungry. Would you like to get some dinner?"

"How long was I out?"

"Two hours," Nyssa answers. "You had me worried for a while there."

"Yeah, I could go for a bite," Laurel says. "Somewhere that serves milkshake, please."

 

...

 

Nyssa was not the love of her life as she had convinced herself a long time ago. Still, somewhere in her heart, there will always be a space reserved for Nyssa.

"Where were you?"

Ava is in her work suit, hair tied up in a tight bun. Her posture is stiff and it reminds Sara of the Ava before. The one whose eyes lit up with contempt whenever Sara crossed her line of sight but this time, there is something missing--that little spark of curiosity Sara tried so hard to ignore because she knew if she let herself revel in it, she might think herself as someone worthy of the comfort of living in her own skin.

"The world might end so I went to see a friend," Sara tells Ava, "to say goodbye."

"Must be an important friend," Ava replies.

Sara examines her expression, trying to find any trace of jealousy because she wants so desperately for Ava to still care for her.

"I never really cared about closure," Sara says. She finds herself letting out a chuckle even though there was nothing funny about what she said. "But it wasn't for me."

"Well, I'm glad you could join us, Captain Lance," Ava says.

"The feeling is mutual," Sara replies.

Her eyes meet Ava's and she wants nothing but to step forward and hold Ava in her arms. Except Ava looks away and Sara takes a step back.

"I should get ready for--"

"Yeah, you should."

 

...

 

Nyssa can't stop staring at her through the entire meal. It makes her feel a little self-conscious.

"What?" she eventually asks.

"Laurel--my Laurel loved dipping fries into milkshake," Nyssa replies and Laurel cannot meet her eyes for the way she had referred to Laurel as hers.

"Well, she knows what she's talking about," Laurel says. "This is amazing."

"If I remember correctly, during my first and last attempt to get you to try it, you were adamant about acting in the exact opposite way that she did," Nyssa tells Laurel.

"I've grown," Laurel replies with a grin, hoping that Nyssa would buy it. "Life is too short to not do something just because it happens to be your doppelganger's favourite."

"That is wonderful," Nyssa says, smiling back. "You deserve your own life, one that is not overshadowed by a different version of you."

Laurel's forehead creases. "You really do care about me."

"Not in the same way as your--"

"Evil twin?"

Nyssa chuckles. "I don't often meet good people so my judgment is questionable when it comes to a person's morality but she was one of the best people I have ever met."

"Really?" Laurel asks. "Because I know things about her that isn't so flattering."

"You're the one who always calls her Saint Laurel," Nyssa replies.

"That might be due to certain expectations projected onto me because of my--other me's squeaky clean image," Laurel says.

It's a guess but she doesn't think it's too farfetched. She did a little google while Nyssa was getting ready and apparently, her doppelganger had gotten involved with all the wrong people ever since she arrived in this universe.

"I know that she wasn't perfect," Nyssa says. "But she tries harder than most people to be a better person."

"Did you know that she almost drank herself to death?" Laurel asks her.

"No, that wasn't her," Nyssa says. "That was me."

"Yeah, it was pretty bad," Laurel says and quickly adds, "for her, I mean. But if you hadn't tried, she might have gotten there herself. You know addicts and how they can't stop unless they've hit bottom."

"That may be true but bottom or no, she had a will made out of iron," Nyssa replies. "Eventually, she would have risen back up. Only someone like that could have the compassion to offer a hand to me, even after all the things that I put her and her family through."

"You think you owe her something."

"I owe her my life."

"Oh, Nyssa," Laurel exhales. "You don't owe me anything. Sure, we met due to, uh, complicated circumstances but my life was better with you in it than without."

Nyssa shakes her head, brows creasing. "This is not--I don't want this. How many times do I have to tell you? This will not provide me closure."

"I know it's hard to believe," Laurel tells Nyssa. She can't do this anymore. She doesn't want to lie and waste more time. She looks into Nyssa's eyes. Having been a lawyer, she knows that the act doesn't necessarily convey sincerity but it's all she's got. "It's really me, Nyssa."

 

...

 

The world didn't end. Laurel had checked with her sister who somehow still has reception even though she is in some time highway, headed to Aruba for a little R&R. "Yeah," Sara had chuckled, relief evident in her tone. "We kind of merged and transformed into Beebo--"

"That blue furry thing?" Laurel had asked to make sure that she heard right.

Sara had hesitated for a minute before confirming that she indeed performed a Captain Planet-like transformation with her crew to defeat the baddest evil from hell in the form of a giant fluff toy with squeaky voice.

When Laurel hit the red button on Nyssa's phone after saying goodbye to her sister, she found that Nyssa had already woken up. Laurel had spent the whole of last night trying to calm and convince Nyssa that she is really her and not some version of her from another universe. It was the hardest and most frustrating conversation she has ever had.

"Good morning," she offers first when Nyssa wordlessly stares at her.

"Sorry," Nyssa says in response. "I still cannot believe that it is you."

"I get that," Laurel says. "I wouldn't believe me either if I was in your place."

"What do you think happened to the other Laurel?" Nyssa asks.

Laurel shrugs. "I have no idea. She could still be in here somewhere. Even if I can stay in this body, I don't think I should. I cannot steal someone else's life just because…"

"Because?"

"Because I need to make up for lost time," Laurel murmurs.

Something like an epiphany sparkles in Nyssa's eyes. "I know the person who can help us make sense of this."

 

...

 

"Hey, Cisco. It's been a while."

Cisco doesn't return her smile and keeps the glare he is directing at Laurel. She deserves it. Most people who break into someone's home don't usually possess good intentions, but Nyssa had pointed out that the other Laurel didn't exactly have the best reputation in Central City. They need answers and calling ahead might not be the most efficient way to get them.

"Hold on," Cisco says. "Aren't you Nyssa Al-Ghul? Last I heard, you've switched to the good side."

Nyssa lets out a dry chuckle. "Less switching and more hovering over whatever thin line in between."

"So, which side are you leaning towards in this moment?" Cisco asks.

"Look, Cisco," Laurel says before Nyssa could come up with another menacing sentence. "I'm not Earth Two Laurel. I'm Laurel--the real Laurel. Or well, the one from this universe."

"No, she's dead," Cisco replies.

Laurel holds out her hands to him. "You tell me."

He glances at Nyssa before taking a cautious step forward to cover Laurel's hands. When he looks up a minute later, disbelief is etched on his face. His forehead creases. Then he chuckles.

"Wow," he exhales. "I guess it makes sense but wow, it just never occurred to me." He laughs. "Welcome back, Laurel."

"Thanks," Laurel replies. "But I didn't come here to ask you to validate my existence. I want to know what happened to the other guy."

Cisco raises his eyebrows. "Are you sure you want to know?"

Laurel appears to hesitate for a moment but then she nods. "Yeah, I need to know."

"What can you do about it if--"

"If it turns out that I've taken away someone's body?"

Nyssa sighs. "Can you even leave this body at will? Have you tried?"

"That is a separate question," Laurel says.

"Why would you torture yourself with such knowledge?" Nyssa asks.

"For the same reason you brought me here," Laurel tells her. "Despite all her faults, Earth Two Laurel is still a person. She has a life--a misplaced life but still a life."

" _Your_ life," Nyssa says.

"It's not mine anymore," Laurel replies.

"I don't think you need to worry about that," Cisco interrupts. He now has a pair of glasses over his eyes. "When I touched you, I noticed a new universe. So, I took a peek. BUT this is the first time I tinkered with space-time to find a person's, I guess, soul and I can't be a hundred percent sure, but..." he pauses.

"But what?" Nyssa huffs.

"The former Earth Two Laurel is now Earth Fifty-Four Laurel," Cisco tells both Nyssa and Laurel.

"Are you sure?" Laurel asks.

"Not a hundred percent," answers Cisco.

"How many percent?" Nyssa asks.

Cisco shrugs. "Like 80-ish."

 

...

 

"Eighty percent is pretty good," Sara says. They're in the kitchen of Laurel and Nyssa's new apartment in National City. "Besides, we already tried extracting your soul with the Death Totem. It didn't want to because it saw you as an alive person."

It took Nyssa seven months to get Laurel to move out of her safe house and start living her life. Laurel was unconvinced--still is, if she's being honest--that it isn't all temporary. That one day she will disappear, leaving behind all the people she loves.

But Nyssa was persistent and Laurel got tired of saying 'no'.

 

...

 

Sara keeps thinking that this should feel much weirder but it just feels kind of nice. Maybe because it isn't the first time that something like this has happened. Besides, this time is different. Sure, the one of them back from the dead is dating the other's ex but Laurel didn't die while boning said ex at sea so...

"Someone should go out there and mediate whatever conversation they're having."

Sara turns towards her older sister. "I think they're doing fine."

"So you're my beloved's new paramour," Laurel says as she eyes Nyssa's moving lips. It doesn't sync up and she finishes way too early for it to be an accurate lip-reading of Nyssa's words. "But you have a girlfriend. Why are you calling _my_ girlfriend--"

"Is there something you want to get off your chest?" Sara asks, cutting off Laurel's poor imitation of Ava.

"No," Laurel answers. "I'm just saying that Ava might not be as understanding as your cool older sister."

"Oh, Ava's plenty cool," Sara huffs.

"I guess we'll see," Laurel says, gently elbowing her on the side, and proceeds to walk past Sara and into the living room. She settles next to Nyssa and Nyssa automatically wraps her arm around Laurel. They seem to fit perfectly.

Sara follows after her.

"Need any help in the kitchen?" Ava offers.

"No, the chicken's in the oven," Sara replies, taking the empty spot next to her girlfriend. "It'll be ready in," she glances at her sister, "twenty minutes?"

"Just about," Laurel replies. "So, what were we talking about?"

Ava places her palm on Sara's thigh and Sara covers it with her own, slipping her fingers between Ava's. "We were talking about time travel," Ava says.

"See?" Sara mouths at Laurel.

"You were thinking something else?" Nyssa asks.

"Time travel wasn't at the top of the list," Laurel supplies, squinting at Sara. "Are you thinking of doing some time-traveling in the near future?"

"No," Nyssa replies. "But when I was Ra's, I encountered certain spells that allowed for the possibility. We were comparing the similarities between the magical procedures for time travel and its scientific protocols."

"Lemme guess," Sara says, "Using a timeship doesn't require human sacrifice and magic does?"

"Not exactly," Nyssa answers earnestly. "One would only require a living human's kidney to perform the spell."

"Oh, just a kidney," Sara replies.

"Beloved, are you mocking me?" Nyssa asks.

"To be fair, you made it easy for her," Laurel says.

But Sara doesn't seem as tickled. "You okay?" she asks Ava.

"No, I'm fine," Ava replies. "Good. I'm good."

"Are you sure?" Sara whispers as not to alarm Laurel and Nyssa who seems to be having a good-natured bicker. She has seen that smile on Nyssa and it still warms her heart now just, you know, in a different way because it is no longer for her. She's happy for Nyssa.

"Can you guys excuse us for a minute?" Ava says, pulling Sara's hand with her as she gets up from the couch. She drags Sara out of the apartment and towards the fire escape.

"Do you think that door opens from--"

Ava shuts the door and turns towards Sara, placing her hands on her hips. Sara grins, "So…are you having fun?"

"I was," Ava says, "until your ex called you 'beloved'. And why is your sister not wringing your neck for that?"

"I told you--"

"I know you told me," Ava sighs. "But hearing it with my own ears--I. I guess I don't understand it as much as I claim to."

"I totally get it," Sara replies, "and if she isn't dating my sister, this wouldn't be a thing that we have to do."

Ava shakes her head. "I don't think that's true."

"That's not--" Sara tries to protest.

"It is so," Ava says. "And I get it. Mostly. I think I just need time to process it."

"Besides, she and my sister are together. We are both in committed relationships," Sara says, holding out her hands to Ava. Ava takes them after Sara flashes what she's been told to be an adorable grin that makes it very difficult for someone to be angry with her. "And very happy with our respective partners. So there's nothing to worry about."

Ava smiles, her head tilted sideways. "I'm happy too."

"Great," Sara says and leans forward to kiss Ava on the lips. "Shall we go in to," she looks at her watch, "enjoy some roast chicken?"

Ava does that nose scrunchy thing that Sara finds unfairly adorable on someone so hot. "Could we do more kissing for like another five to ten minutes to tend to my wounded ego?"

"Oh," Sara murmurs, raising an eyebrow. "I was a nurse in 1958 so you've come to the right place."

 

...

 

Laurel and Nyssa ended up having to 'save' Sara and Ava from the fire escape. They tried their best to not look like they had been making out in the stairwell but Ava had put on her buttons wrong and Sara forgot to pull her bra strap back up on her shoulder. They then had dinner and played Monopoly after and no one called anyone their 'beloved' for the rest of the night.

"I might be wrong but," Nyssa says. She is rinsing the dishes in the sink while Laurel dries the ones on the drying rack. "I noticed something when I called Sara 'beloved'."

"You did?" Laurel replies. "You didn't say anything when Ava dragged my sister out the door."

"I wasn't sure if I was ready," Nyssa says.

"Ready for what?" Laurel asks.

"Ready to have the conversation about the history between your sister and I."

"Didn't we already talk about this before?" Laurel says.

"You said that it was not your favorite thing in the world but everyone has baggage," Nyssa replies.

"Sounds like me," Laurel mutters agreeably, picking up the casserole dish that Nyssa had just set by the sink.

"I just think that the topic deserves a longer conversation."

"There's Oliver," Laurel points out. "I dated him. You married him. Do we need to talk about him too?"

Nyssa shakes her head. "My husband doesn't matter."

"Did you hear what you just said?"

"So, it does bother you," Nyssa replies. "Though I have a feeling now that it bothers you more that I call Oliver Queen 'husband' than Sara 'beloved'."

Laurel opens her mouth to protest but then she realizes that there is some truth to what Nyssa said. She exhales. "God, I can't escape that guy."

"Is that what upsets you?" Nyssa asks.

"I mean, yeah," Laurel replies. "Half of my twenties is defined by my grief for that guy and when I'm around him, I'm filled with a feeling of inadequacy, which is, you know, my problem but it doesn't help that he's everywhere. He's even married to my girlfriend. Like what does he even mean to you?"

"We were bonded as husband and wife by my father, but beyond that, he doesn't matter much to me," Nyssa answers.

"That's what doesn't sit well for me," Laurel says. "That you can call him 'husband' without it carrying any meaning other than the definition bestowed upon it by your father. With Sara, at least, it was real." She puts down the glass she is wiping. "I don't want you to think anything different because I know that this is real. We are real. But sometimes," she sighs. "Sometimes, I'm afraid that there might not be any point to our relationship. That since you already have a beloved and a husband, there might not be a place in your life for me."

Nyssa tightens her grip on the glass she is rinsing and Laurel quickly covers her hands to loosen the grip before it could break. Carefully, Laurel extracts the glass from Nyssa's hold.

"How could you think that?" Nyssa huffs.

"It's awful, I know--"

"No," Nyssa cuts off Laurel's apology before it can come out. "The League of Assassins was my whole life. I had no other purpose except to one day lead it. When my father," she turns her body towards Laurel and Laurel mirrors her action, "disinherited me from what was supposed to be my birthright, I lost my life purpose. I thought there was nothing left for me in this world. Then you--" she smiles. "You showed me that my worth did not belong to my father and I can forge my own way." Nyssa presses her palms on her pants to dry them. She then cups Laurel's cheek with one hand and the other goes to the edge of the counter, over Laurel's hand. "If anything, my life lacked meaning until I met you."

Laurel's lips curl up.

"There is no one word that could describe what you are to me," Nyssa continues. "You are not only my love; you are my redemption. The second chance I never deserved." Her fingers curl into the inside of Laurel's palm. "I owe you my life. What do you call someone like that?"

"Your hero," Laurel jokes.

Nyssa doesn't laugh. Instead, she appears to seriously consider it.

"Oh god, no," Laurel quickly says. "Don't call me your hero. Sara will never let me hear the end of it."

"I won't," Nyssa replies, her smile grows into a grin. "Frankly, I don't think you need any endearing label. Laurel already means everything good in the world to me."

Laurel feels her cheeks warm. She leans forwards and kisses Nyssa's lips. When she pulls back, she tells Nyssa, "Thank you."

She still fears disappearing without warning. She fears inadvertently hurting the people she loves. But in Nyssa's embrace, those fears are dulled and she thinks it is better to savor moments like this than fear their temporary nature.

"I love you," Laurel says to Nyssa.

"I love you too."


End file.
